In the memory of my fiance...

Im here for my fiance Phil Smith Jr, who was a HUGE Linkin Park fan. He overdosed 3 times this year alone and was very depressed having a hard time with life... In January 2011 I bought him the Linkin Park cd A thousand Suns.. he listened to it every single day after I bought it.

On June 28th 2011, he committed suicide in our home leaving behind myself and our 2 boys who are 3 and 6.. he was only 28 years old. At first I wanted to blame myself for buying the cd because some of the songs were depressing and for him to listen to them when he was depressed didnt seem to help. his favorite song was waiting for the end, and he asked that we play leave out all the rest at his funeral... but I seen how much he felt he could relate to every song he listened to from Linkin Park.. not just off the new cd I bought him.. I listened to them every day with him as well..

I am no longer blaming music for aiding him into his death... it was his own decision he felt he had to do.. I know nobody from Linkin Park will ever take the time into reading this, or even getting back to me.. but I wanted to say thank you to the band for being something my fiance could relate to and listen to when he felt he couldnt go on anymore. I know he left this world too soon, but through your music, he felt like he had someone who understood. I dont know if i will ever be able to listen to your music again after what has happened, it just makes me sad... but your an amazing band and I hope you stick around for a long time..

Heres to my fiance... may he rest in peace. Philip Smith Jr.. 12/09/1982- 06/28/2011

Danielle

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Permalink Reply by Rositsa (Moderator) on September 20, 2011 at 12:32pm

I am sorry for your loss. I hope someone will really read this.
R.I.P.

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Permalink Reply by Sebastian Lippelt on September 20, 2011 at 12:46pm

This is so bad. R.I.P

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Permalink Reply by laura on September 20, 2011 at 1:13pm

I'm sorry for your loss

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Permalink Reply by Siany O'Neill on September 20, 2011 at 2:29pm

I'm really sorry for your loss ~hugz~ R.I.P.

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Permalink Reply by Monica Opperud on September 21, 2011 at 4:28am

My deepest condolences! R.I.P

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Permalink Reply by Danielle Duvall on September 21, 2011 at 7:00am

thank you to everyone...

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Permalink Reply by linkingabo on September 21, 2011 at 7:42am

may he Rest In Peace..

I have lived through some very bad years as a kid and later teenager, I was even thinking about killing somebody, LP's music helped me a lot.. listening to the songs, mainly Chester's screaming parts could "save me" from the daily mess I had been living in..

once again.. Philip Smith Jr., Rest In Peace! My deepest condolences Danielle!
(sorry for talking about my stuff)

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Permalink Reply by Stefan Sestovic on September 21, 2011 at 12:39pm

Great story!!

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Permalink Reply by Stefan Sestovic on September 21, 2011 at 12:40pm

R.I.P

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Permalink Reply by Danielle Duvall on September 22, 2011 at 8:31pm

thank you....

linkingabo said:

may he Rest In Peace..

I have lived through some very bad years as a kid and later teenager, I was even thinking about killing somebody, LP's music helped me a lot.. listening to the songs, mainly Chester's screaming parts could "save me" from the daily mess I had been living in..

once again.. Philip Smith Jr., Rest In Peace! My deepest condolences Danielle!
(sorry for talking about my stuff)

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Permalink Reply by Aaralyn D on September 29, 2011 at 8:51pm

I am so sorry, Danielle - my caring to you in getting through this (((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))). I wish I had been looking at discussions earlier so I could reply closer to when you posted this.

For me, Linkin Park helps me not to give in to suicidal thoughts, they always keep me hoping for better things (I have suffered from depression since I was 6 years old) - I'm sorry Philip gave up the fight :( Depression is not an easy thing to fight, at times. May you and your boys find peace and have a full, loving joyful and contented life in your future.All my best wishes and hopes for you all ((((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))))))

Aaralyn

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Permalink Reply by Danielle Duvall on September 30, 2011 at 6:00am

Thank you Aaralyn, That means alot especially from a complete stranger. Even though he ended up taking his life, I still believe Linkin Parks songs made him feel like someone else in the world felt what he was feeling.. and for that it makes me happy because at some point he had to feel he wasnt alone. Wish he was still here but that doesnt change the fact that life must move on....

Thank you again for your words.. if Linkin Park doesnt see this, hopefully more people like you will!

Danielle

Aaralyn D said:

I am so sorry, Danielle - my caring to you in getting through this (((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))). I wish I had been looking at discussions earlier so I could reply closer to when you posted this.

For me, Linkin Park helps me not to give in to suicidal thoughts, they always keep me hoping for better things (I have suffered from depression since I was 6 years old) - I'm sorry Philip gave up the fight :( Depression is not an easy thing to fight, at times. May you and your boys find peace and have a full, loving joyful and contented life in your future.All my best wishes and hopes for you all ((((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))))))

Aaralyn