Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by TylerReed on December 17, 2010 at 5:23pm

I've tried my hand at poetry once or twice, so i guess i'll give this a whirl. Good job by all you guys, by the way.

There once was a knight from North France

Who went out and bought some new pants.

The pants were so fine

That folks of all kind

Would admire this nobleman's pants.

 

One morning this knight from North France

Got his amazing pants caught on a lance.

As the knight strolled away

He looked down in dismay

To see the lance had ripped off his pants!

 

The Frenchman was in for a scare

For all the folks saw his legs bare.

Every master and slave,

Every peasant and knave

Could see the that Frenchman's leg hair!

 

So may this be a lesson to you

If a fancy-pants comes into view,

Do not fall for his act

He's not so fancy, in fact

He's no more fancy than me and you. 

 

 

 

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Ash on December 21, 2010 at 2:20pm

LOL,that's pretty clever poem Tyler! I like the message within it about those who appear to be more than they are......well,if that was the message anyway lol. I'm pretty glad to see a more humerous poem on here.

IamTylerR said:

I've tried my hand at poetry once or twice, so i guess i'll give this a whirl. Good job by all you guys, by the way.

There once was a knight from North France

Who went out and bought some new pants.

The pants were so fine

That folks of all kind

Would admire this nobleman's pants.

 

One morning this knight from North France

Got his amazing pants caught on a lance.

As the knight strolled away

He looked down in dismay

To see the lance had ripped off his pants!

 

The Frenchman was in for a scare

For all the folks saw his legs bare.

Every master and slave,

Every peasant and knave

Could see the that Frenchman's leg hair!

 

So may this be a lesson to you

If a fancy-pants comes into view,

Do not fall for his act

He's not so fancy, in fact

He's no more fancy than me and you. 

 

 

 

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Ash on December 21, 2010 at 2:23pm

Thank you very much Harriett,but DON'T EVER lose confidence in your own work.(Especially over me please,I'll feel bad! :( ) And yes,Ghost In The Shell is the shit!
Harriett said:

Ash, you are such an amazing poet! You definitely could get a book out there. Your writing skills make me jealous...I can totally relate to a couple your pieces. Doppleganger was my favorite and Deepest Black is pure beauty. You have so much wisdom and talent...people like you make me lose self-confidence in my art. I looked at your profile too...I love Ghost In A Shell :)

Ash said:

Now that I'm fully in the mood I might as well put up a few more.


FIELDS

Silence now
Upon these fields
Where the wind has come to lie


Whisper soft, if you must tell
Of secret days past in golden twilight
Here with me forever by your side


When night passes overhead
Dearest friend, don't be afraid
The silent moon will light our way
Safe to sweetly dream far from howling wind


As dawn breaks as we wake
Our secret place of evergreen bathed in gray
Through Heaven's clouds upon Earth we wander into day


Silence now
Upon these fields
Where the wind has come to lie


Hand in hand
Come walk with me
In these fields where it’s just you and I

4/13/09



Deepest Black (Four Voices)

A shadow has been cast over the world
To darken every soul of any light
The veil is pulled over truth
It seeks to devour the very Sun
A voice like the winds blow within its wake
It whisper's softly within the ear
Its voice is clear to the open heart
"Heed the voice less heard"
A cry springs forth from Earth
Carried by the seven seas upon the land
It laments of suffering, death, despair
Its voice is loud upon the Sons of Man
The many people scattered about
For all their business with naught
Dust settled between the ears
The Third shall catch them unaware
The voice they raise of ignorant pride
Pleasure and greed consume their minds
As the foundation of societies lies begin to fall
They shall carry on, though the truth exposed to them all
And so it comes, subtle and great
A deception garbed in the guise of salvation
Blinding their willing eyes in darkest light
The shadow descends upon a fallen world
Whom heeded The First flee the shadows wrath
They bear a light that hopes for a coming day
So their blood is shed to feed the Beast
Who fears the coming First and Last
To the few in search for a reason
To seek what's beyond our shattered world
A wind is blowing through the land
Take these words for a breath of that air, and understand
We follow the many in fear of rejection
But the road to what’s right is followed the least
To you who feel you wander this world alone
Who sees an unbalance in the midst of it all
Be not afraid, we are one in the same
Stranger's lost in an uncaring world
The many will come and call you to join
If you should falter, when their words give you doubt
Look past their eyes to the truth of their hearts
An intent contrary to the good of their deeds
We carry a light within our soul that God shares
And so you shall see theirs is a deepest black
9/30/10'


Masochism of The Soul


All alone
You and a conscience
What did you think it would come to?

Don't you hear the raven's above
Black sky of infinite wings
Singing the dirge laying you to rest

The incubus in your soul
The past is what you create
Constant regret

Bound by chains of guilt
Desires thought to set you free
A slave to your own darkness

Sins wrought under the moon
Kept hidden from the sun
Secrets lie in silence but so long

Bear the scars on your heart
Keep this voice in mind
Relinquish, confess, liberation

The gift laid to waste
This ephemeral existence
Eternity waits in forgiveness

Drifting in disbelief
Succumb to the coming tide
Drown a victim to your iniquity

Look again to the heavens
Know their unfathomable endlessness
To deny a realm greater than the cage you've been confined

The cosmos, sea, wind, the breath of life you take
The dawn, twilight, love, the certainty of death
Simple in their nature, beyond 'wisdom' of man

Take your petty pride of life, breathe your last
To die in ignorance, unknown beauty of truth
A fate even Hell shall pity

10-8-10'

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Michelle on December 21, 2010 at 7:40pm

Here is one I just wrote tonight...don't know if I should make changes to it or leave it the same...what do you think?

 

Writing The Weather

 

Animated in stone

muttering a silent fear

 

Someone hears you

write the weather

 

Vanishing between

the lines

a faint cry

 

Remnants of

the romance

sang out loud

 

edges twitching

in strangeness

 

Someone hears

you write the weather

 

 

 

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Ash on December 22, 2010 at 2:20pm

Well,I don't think anyone can really say what changes need to be made, it depends on what you were trying to show or say with the poem. I can say the phrase "Write the weather", sticks with me....I don't know why lol.

Michelle said:

Here is one I just wrote tonight...don't know if I should make changes to it or leave it the same...what do you think?

 

Writing The Weather

 

Animated in stone

muttering a silent fear

 

Someone hears you

write the weather

 

Vanishing between

the lines

a faint cry

 

Remnants of

the romance

sang out loud

 

edges twitching

in strangeness

 

Someone hears

you write the weather

 

 

 

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Bobby Jack on December 23, 2010 at 9:46pm

The inspiration behind this, is finding yourself.. beyond the many forces that control our lives, from society's laws, to our peers, to the things that we want, need, or desire. I would love some feedback on it. If you want a type of singing style for it, think Shinedown mixed with Linkin Park lol. I'm nowhere near as good as Mike at coming up with the raps, tho, so that's up to you to figure out (where he comes in :P)

 

Everyone needs a new direction
If you knew how your thoughts would fail you
Would you ever think them at all
How your choices are handed to you
Is the bittersweet corruption of destiny
Why do we fail to understand
The worlds outside our perception
All the visions that we cannot see
Blending for one imperfect picture
The only lives we cannot live
Are the ones we're told cannot exist
And who tells you what to believe
Beyond the walls of society
Everyone, find out, who's your deity
And come together to find your beliefs

How can we think outside the box
When they chain the lid closed
How can we find what we believe
When they control our destiny
How does the wind truly fly
When it has never said, "Goodbye"
As it wraps itself around our world

When does the darkness find it's way out of the light
As if the hand of fate is controlled by the contrite
Never and always are too absolute
Unless you really know the truth
How much can we see, beyond life's bitter destiny
How much can we know, beyond what we are shown
If this life, as it leads, shows you another way
How far can you reach into your heart to pull out the key
To unlock yourself from the machine
How can you truly see beyond the control of that misery
It's up to you to decide, how to control your fantasy
And as the wind flies, find you, well, finds itself
As every experience teaches you something new
You'll find yourself, You'll find yourself
Lost in the beauty of reality

How many lives were lost in the contraption
That they built around our souls
How many times were we denied
Our weariness, dead and cold

How can we think outside the box
When they chain the lid closed
How can we find what we believe
When they control our destiny
How does the wind truly fly
When it has never said, "Goodbye"
As it wraps itself around our world

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Ash on December 30, 2010 at 11:51am

Here's a new one that's not so new.

-Untitled-

            A junkie stalks the alleyway

            In search of a cure to take the pain

            He sees the shambles of his life

            But cannot see the end in sight

 

            Do you see this shadow of a man?

            Would you take the time to understand?

            If all he needed was a gentle hand

            Would you offer it or turn your head?

 

            There is a beautiful woman, vain and proud

            Her words as thoughtless and empty, as much as they are loud

            Yet no amount of money or layers of concealer

            Can hide the ugliness she wears even deeper

 

            Look at the poor one by the way

            You wouldn't give him the time of day

            You think him ignorant, dirty, and dumb

            Because he's plain, humble, and lives simpler than some

 

            You'd never know the beauty of his mind

            How one could be so thoughtful and so kind

            His riches aren't found in superficial, material things

            But in the honest belief in God and promises he brings

 

            As for the rich man you must beware

            His wealth has made him empty, without a care

            Don't be fooled by the smile he wears, he surely has sins to bear

            To avoid his child's lonely stare, he gives money for love he cannot share

 

            A girl has learned what it means to live

            Though a callous disease eats within

            The hope and tenderness she shares get her through

            This is how she's begun anew

 

            You could think she would despair for she has so little time

            Take a look closer to see the light that shines within her eyes

           

            A group of youths adorned in the latest fad and trend

            Desensitized, demoralized for ease of fitting in

            Blinded by arrogant self-centeredness, deluded by self-deception

            They've lost the ability of simple self reflection

 

            And now the kid who sits alone with no place to call a home

            He's seen and been made to do things a child should never know

            Every night he trades his dignity for shame in order to survive

            He keeps a dream inside, and one day he'll leave it all behind

           

            If by chance you met this boy wandering around the corner

            Would you take a second glance or even care to bother

            Never mind his bluntness, he doesn't mean to offend

            What he seeks is the comfort and honesty that lie within a friend

 

            9/20/10'

 

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Ash on December 30, 2010 at 12:06pm

Amazing piece, the words definately hold true to what people are doing all the time. Allowing so many small, trivial forces and the world's expectations control them. It's sad to think so many people go through their lives not even bothering to try and find who they really are deep down. Instead, they let, fads, cliches, and stereotypes shape who they are. And most of them, like the many that came before them will go to the grave without truly knowing what this life and their purpose here is really about. It's beyond me that people willingly let societal trends and ideology's determine their course in life. I call it the ultimate laziness, too damn lazy to look further beyond selfish desires and what the media tells you is important. Then again, some people are more than willing to be blind sheep.

Bobby Jack said:

The inspiration behind this, is finding yourself.. beyond the many forces that control our lives, from society's laws, to our peers, to the things that we want, need, or desire. I would love some feedback on it. If you want a type of singing style for it, think Shinedown mixed with Linkin Park lol. I'm nowhere near as good as Mike at coming up with the raps, tho, so that's up to you to figure out (where he comes in :P)

 

Everyone needs a new direction
If you knew how your thoughts would fail you
Would you ever think them at all
How your choices are handed to you
Is the bittersweet corruption of destiny
Why do we fail to understand
The worlds outside our perception
All the visions that we cannot see
Blending for one imperfect picture
The only lives we cannot live
Are the ones we're told cannot exist
And who tells you what to believe
Beyond the walls of society
Everyone, find out, who's your deity
And come together to find your beliefs

How can we think outside the box
When they chain the lid closed
How can we find what we believe
When they control our destiny
How does the wind truly fly
When it has never said, "Goodbye"
As it wraps itself around our world

When does the darkness find it's way out of the light
As if the hand of fate is controlled by the contrite
Never and always are too absolute
Unless you really know the truth
How much can we see, beyond life's bitter destiny
How much can we know, beyond what we are shown
If this life, as it leads, shows you another way
How far can you reach into your heart to pull out the key
To unlock yourself from the machine
How can you truly see beyond the control of that misery
It's up to you to decide, how to control your fantasy
And as the wind flies, find you, well, finds itself
As every experience teaches you something new
You'll find yourself, You'll find yourself
Lost in the beauty of reality

How many lives were lost in the contraption
That they built around our souls
How many times were we denied
Our weariness, dead and cold

How can we think outside the box
When they chain the lid closed
How can we find what we believe
When they control our destiny
How does the wind truly fly
When it has never said, "Goodbye"
As it wraps itself around our world

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Harriett on January 3, 2011 at 5:29pm

I really liked this piece. It was a definitely a good read! Do you play guitar or something? I would really like to hear this performed. 
Bobby Jack said:

The inspiration behind this, is finding yourself.. beyond the many forces that control our lives, from society's laws, to our peers, to the things that we want, need, or desire. I would love some feedback on it. If you want a type of singing style for it, think Shinedown mixed with Linkin Park lol. I'm nowhere near as good as Mike at coming up with the raps, tho, so that's up to you to figure out (where he comes in :P)

 

Everyone needs a new direction
If you knew how your thoughts would fail you
Would you ever think them at all
How your choices are handed to you
Is the bittersweet corruption of destiny
Why do we fail to understand
The worlds outside our perception
All the visions that we cannot see
Blending for one imperfect picture
The only lives we cannot live
Are the ones we're told cannot exist
And who tells you what to believe
Beyond the walls of society
Everyone, find out, who's your deity
And come together to find your beliefs

How can we think outside the box
When they chain the lid closed
How can we find what we believe
When they control our destiny
How does the wind truly fly
When it has never said, "Goodbye"
As it wraps itself around our world

When does the darkness find it's way out of the light
As if the hand of fate is controlled by the contrite
Never and always are too absolute
Unless you really know the truth
How much can we see, beyond life's bitter destiny
How much can we know, beyond what we are shown
If this life, as it leads, shows you another way
How far can you reach into your heart to pull out the key
To unlock yourself from the machine
How can you truly see beyond the control of that misery
It's up to you to decide, how to control your fantasy
And as the wind flies, find you, well, finds itself
As every experience teaches you something new
You'll find yourself, You'll find yourself
Lost in the beauty of reality

How many lives were lost in the contraption
That they built around our souls
How many times were we denied
Our weariness, dead and cold

How can we think outside the box
When they chain the lid closed
How can we find what we believe
When they control our destiny
How does the wind truly fly
When it has never said, "Goodbye"
As it wraps itself around our world

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Harriett on January 3, 2011 at 5:32pm

Awww...I think I've been read like a book.

Ash said:

Here's a new one that's not so new.

-Untitled-

            A junkie stalks the alleyway

            In search of a cure to take the pain

            He sees the shambles of his life

            But cannot see the end in sight

 

            Do you see this shadow of a man?

            Would you take the time to understand?

            If all he needed was a gentle hand

            Would you offer it or turn your head?

 

            There is a beautiful woman, vain and proud

            Her words as thoughtless and empty, as much as they are loud

            Yet no amount of money or layers of concealer

            Can hide the ugliness she wears even deeper

 

            Look at the poor one by the way

            You wouldn't give him the time of day

            You think him ignorant, dirty, and dumb

            Because he's plain, humble, and lives simpler than some

 

            You'd never know the beauty of his mind

            How one could be so thoughtful and so kind

            His riches aren't found in superficial, material things

            But in the honest belief in God and promises he brings

 

            As for the rich man you must beware

            His wealth has made him empty, without a care

            Don't be fooled by the smile he wears, he surely has sins to bear

            To avoid his child's lonely stare, he gives money for love he cannot share

 

            A girl has learned what it means to live

            Though a callous disease eats within

            The hope and tenderness she shares get her through

            This is how she's begun anew

 

            You could think she would despair for she has so little time

            Take a look closer to see the light that shines within her eyes

           

            A group of youths adorned in the latest fad and trend

            Desensitized, demoralized for ease of fitting in

            Blinded by arrogant self-centeredness, deluded by self-deception

            They've lost the ability of simple self reflection

 

            And now the kid who sits alone with no place to call a home

            He's seen and been made to do things a child should never know

            Every night he trades his dignity for shame in order to survive

            He keeps a dream inside, and one day he'll leave it all behind

           

            If by chance you met this boy wandering around the corner

            Would you take a second glance or even care to bother

            Never mind his bluntness, he doesn't mean to offend

            What he seeks is the comfort and honesty that lie within a friend

 

            9/20/10'

 

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Harriett on January 3, 2011 at 5:41pm

I've been super lazy and unmotivated lately...so here's something I wrote a while ago.

 

Into Static (Whiteout)

 

She said that I was gullible

Truly, I slipped from black caves

My feet greased the color of

Static in greying squares

(I sweep and sweep)

 

I rest on a universe of

Scattering noise like pinballs

I'm cold and the crickets chirp

In our populated nothing

"Can I take your order?"

 

They laugh and try to be friendly

Truly, I'm sorry and so far gone

Into the static of greying squares

My eyes cracked like eggs

My hands are calloused

 

I don't want to fake smiles

But let them glisten against the spotted floor

And come clean

My toes are waiting

(struggling to count change)

 

I'm calling a whiteout

To infuse with soft star

(not blinking) soft heart

Radiating light and

They no longer hear me

 

But truly, there's no magic glue for that

I spill like a milkshake

Into static

"Have a good night!"

 

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Angelique C. on January 3, 2011 at 11:00pm

wow i like your poem alot, ghost child! Its nice and I really like the word choice. I dabble in poetry myself although I never get much feedback, but here's one of my favourites. I wrote this for a fanfic I was working on.

 

Me, Myself, and Nothing

Silence.
Intense darkness.
A world of nothing.
No emotions, no pain, no people.
A light appears from above and illuminates the world below,
revealing the death and decay of millions.
I look down,
aware of the fact that I am alive.


I turn to the left and no one is there;
I look to the right but no one is beside me.
But as I turn around,
I see a man with a broken face,
like the cracks in a mirror.
His eyes are sad,
and he's gazing down at his blood stained hands.
There is no one else with him
and I can't stop thinking there's someting familiar about him.


I reach out to him,
and as he looks up at me I notice his eyes are black and hollow.
He reaches his hand towards me just as I had,
but we do not connect.
Instead, I feel the touch of glass.
Immediately the image shatters and a cold realization washes over me.


This is my world and it's slowly falling apart.
All of the dead people are small fragments of me;
and all that remains is an empty, lonely shell.

 

 

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