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Permalink Reply by Ash on June 11, 2012 at 1:44pm

Lesson of Hosts

 

 

Waking fear

Rhythmic pounding

Of dormant dread

Fleeing fantasies of phantom dream

Births a lucid nightmare

Of dawning reality

 

Shallow, rapid breaths

Trembling, dampened skin

Pitifully warped and wrapped

Within glowing, linen folds

A sorrowful picture,

Of human fragility

 

This foreign setting to which I awake

Holds a vague

Alien familiarity

A life of natural monotonous routine

Does nothing to restore recollection of the scene

 

Full moon shining afar

From that infinite, outer sky

Blasts interior and walls

Surreal, blinding white

Right it seems for panic to possess the mind

The elements fitting for sanitarium halls

 

Thought, emotion

A kaleidoscope of Fear and Doubt

Spiraling within

To the barren core

Where I am lost

In the face of myself

 

Mirrors needn't show

Truth to tell,

The pitiful being

I am

What have I done?

These hands have naught to prove them

 

Caught in despair

Retreating in self-loathing

Mind longs for relief

Heart for some ease

So the feet carry

To a place to forget

 

From corridors,

Down stairs

Around corners,

Through spaces

I pass on my way

To where, I know not

 

But I find myself there

The world beyond the window

Moon,

Silent witness above

Hovers there still

In the company of stars

 

Pondering the paradox

Of distance,

And meaning

So far the Host

Smaller still

To the eye

 

Surely,

From their view

They think the same of me

No,

Of Us

Here lies the dilemma

My insecurity

 

The Host

Clustered and gathered

Aligned

As if by design

Illuminate and radiate

Each known by name

 

Are we the same?

 

The billions

And trillions

Til' words can't express

A multitude of individuals

Burn defiantly alone

Each known by name

 

Can I be the same?

 

Among hundreds

And thousands

In the places I go

I fade

Disappear

Who cares for my name?

 

Who takes the time?

Who looks to see?

Beauty undefined

Deep inside

You,

And me

 

Unspoken

Unannounced

The reply comes

Subtle and profound

Stars above descend

To answer themselves

 

It is only then

A chill runs through

Something different

Than what gripped me before

Falling over body and mind

With lights all around

 

Drifting in silence

On ethereal breeze

Sparkle and shining

Brushing my cheeks

A voice without words saying,

“Look closer and see”

 

Confounded

My eyes strain

To take in such a awesome sight

Of thousands, of millions

Drifting waves and light

How can this be?

 

On a cloudless night?

 

Extending my hand

To the infinite Host

Hoping to understand

What eyes fail to find

On fingertip and palm

They fade and dissolve

 

Despair and confusion

What answer is this?

How ephemeral an existence

Seems only fleeting illusion

In beginning to brilliantly shine

At end, to dim and die

 

In that moment it strikes me

It all is made clear

The stars float along

The current of Life

 

Born in vitality

Strangers to the world

Filling our days

With lessons and folly

To our last breath a reward,

Of peace or regret

 

Stars begin to shower

Covering heaven and earth

Diamond dust blazing

Spectrum's of colors

Laced with intricate designs

No two the same

 

Sometimes we question

And often complain

Of life's endless mystery

Uncertainties

Funny how nature reveals

What we choose not to see

 

All with a beginning

In much the same way

Blown along currents

Winds bearing trials

Becoming dispersed

Divided, astray

 

Aligned together

All counted as one

The earth settled over

In numerous lights

Mirrored reflection

Of a starry night sky

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