I tried to end my life in 1986. I was so depressed and I had no friends. My girlfriend of 11 years had just left me and I was not able to deal with my emotions in a positive way. I drank a 5th of Vodka, snorted a 8 ball of cocaine smoked a ounce of weeds and then I took a handful of narcotics and retrieved my Chef knife. I cut myself had a snort, drink, puff, pill, until I can not remember what happened. I woke up in a hospital. It took many years to come to grips with my inner pain and my feeling of being worthless. I am proud to say I have come a very long way since that night so long ago. I still have depression and there are many things in my life that make me cry, like my wife left me for another man and she moved back home to France. I had a girlfriend 3 years later and after 6 months she " dumped " me to use her words. I was unhappy but I was able to get past this with no harmful effects. I am sorry I can not find love in my life but I am happy to be alive anyway. Having a partner would go a long way toward making me feel whole. Until that happens ... if it ever happens ... it is up to me to remember that pain is a sign of healing and my soul aches.
ive personally attempted suicide more than 15 times literally in the past three months,actually attempted this morning and im going to attempt again tonight...im prayin to a god that i dont believe in that i succeed in killing myself
oh and vodka,ah the good stuff vodka is my best friend and my only friend...besides brandy and keystone of course...
Suicide is just a permanent solution to a temporary problem. There are always ways around that empty/worthless feeling.What I always find helps is to talk to someone. If anyone ever needs to talk, I will be here =)
Please feel free to ask me to talk at any time. I will be willing to listen. It helps to know someone cares and I really care. I hope no one succeeds in their suicide attempt. Where there is life there is hope where there is hope there is life.....