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Right. I'm putting this here so I can find it when I need it, as I seem to need it more than one might think.
This is an old and long music joke that I first heard back in high school, yet the one I usually find online is not the one I first heard, and is, in my opinion, the lazier version. I'm posting both versions because I can't think of the original without the aid of this…Continue
Raindrops put the rhythm on the pavement,
And drip from the blacktop into the basement.
Traces of the rain pervade this
to erase your hate and take this
from the fakeness.
"The sun doesn't give light to the moon assuming the moon's gonna owe it one." -Linkin Park
"If you're flammable and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit." -Mitch Hedberg
"This is the last smile that I'll fake for the sake of being with you."
"This is the last time I'll take the blame for the sake of being with you." -Linkin Park
"I am the son of rage and love: The Jesus of Suburbia." -Green Day
"Life offers us tickets to places which we have not knowingly asked for." -Maya Angelou
"If it takes a thousands summers, I will wait for you" -Futurama
"Every time god masturbates, cats kill a mel gibson." -Henry Chen
"Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip? To get to the other...um..."
"Life is the crummiest book I've ever read."
Search Results: "Entity on EBay"
"The less I hear, the less you say." -Linkin Park
Nobody likes you,
Everyone left you,
They're all out without you,
"You wasted life, why wouldn't you waste death?"
"Life's like an hourglass glued to the table." -Anna Nalick
"Good steaks are rare these days, so don't order yours well done."
"It's deep how you can be so shallow." -Gnarles Barkley
Those three words
Are said too much
But not enough.
"Do not believe in fortune cookies. They lie." -A Fortune Cookie
"Help! I'm stuck in a fortune cookie factory!" -Another Fortune Cookie
"Sean Connery High Shcool."
"Ideas are fractal"
"Rugged?! Is that anything like handsome?"
"Oh, no no no. Handsome means he looks at himself all day in the mirror. Rugged means YOU look at HIM." -The Simpsons
"Bender, that was the best 40 minute washboard solo ever. The parts when I was awake blew my mind." -Beck on Futurama
"Thank you! That song doesn't usually last 3 hours, but we got into a serious thing there, and then I forgot how it ended!" -Beck on Futurama
"Haven't found a way to say 'fuck you' politely" -Swollen Members
"There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats." -Albert Einstein
"Who watches Blue's Clues? He's always two steps ahead of me." -Susanni (my teacher)
"Hot crackers! I take exception to that!" -Futurama
"I'm what's left, and I'm what's right." -Foo Fighters
"Rockin' at an amphitheater near yo ass!" -Mike Shinoda
"What the fuck are you doing, man? You spilled my 'Cristal' all over me!" - Mike Shinoda in "Cover and Duck"
"I woke up one morning, got out of my bunk. Mike was standing in the front lounge and I remember thinking; 'Oh my god, that's Mike from Linkin Park!' And then I threw up..." – Brad
"Nkramar. The man who could find a needle in a hay stack. That had no needle in it." -Craig_McC on the LPUMB
"I knew Xero was gonna be big." -Stryker
"Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room!" -President Merkin Muffley of Dr. Strangelove
"I'm sorry Jess, but if you become any more adorable you're gonna fart pink bunnies." -Alice in the comic Loserz
"Sometimes we're all just cat furniture."
"The good news and the bad news: The good news is we're naming a disease after you..." -Who's Line Is It Anyway?
"Some people are like slinkies - not really good for anything, but they bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs."
WillYunLee says to (13:21): There are things that we’ve been talking about, so maybe one day. I keep rapping for Mike Shinoda, trying to get into Fort Minor.
mrhahn1 says to (13:22): I can’t even get in. Actually I was in, he kicked me out.
"I don't really like conductors, so sometimes I go outside and throw rocks at myself." -Mr. Hurt
"IF YOUR ONLY CHILD IS A SON, YOU WILL NEVER GET TO BE A MOTHER OF THE BRIDE. IT DOESN’T MATTER HOW GAY HE IS." -The Comics Curmudgeon
Donny: That's what the future is gonna be like: little kids with nuclear warheads.
Me: In 10 years.
Donny: Yes, in 10 years.
"Fuck Mentos. I'm the fresh maker." -Carl of theWarehouse
"This is just what the Nazis did to the Eskimos in the 1850s!" -SNL
"There's a track called Bleed It Out on the record, which is a pretty typical Linkin Park song." -Chester
"He'll get a rise, you'll get a raise, don't tell his wife about it." -Aqua
"I think if Mike were gonna be gay for a day he'd totally sleep with Phoenix...but that's just my opinion." -AnTonio
"That's not just a dress, that's an Audrey Hepburn movie." -from Jerry McGuire
"If you're expecting Hybrid Theory Part 3, I'm sorry, you're gonna have to go buy another copy of Hybrid Theory to get it." -Mike Shinoda right before MTM released
"Fish! There are fish in the river!" -Stephanie <3 (Love you dork)
"Safe is boring. Sweet insanity is the voice saying 'I bet we can fit one more in there.'"
"One more what in where?"
"Everything. Everywhere. It's insanity; it doesn't stop to ask directions."
"And if you've got a cell phone and a lighter, light your cell phone on fire and put it up." -Mike Shinoda
The trumpet shall be heard on high
The dead shall live, the living die
And Music shall untune the sky.
"i didn't like mario kart until i started using the wheel. then it became fun. now i sit in my apartment, gripped with road rage and yelling a constant stream of obscenities at princesses and mushrooms." -AlexSP
"Giving x more guns is always the answer. It may not fix things, but it makes for more interesting news." -Kevin Kuchta
"All I want to do is make an album full of stuff that doesn’t suck. Twelve to fourteen tracks of anti-suck." -Mike Shinoda
"I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying." -Woody Allen
"Shocked at people outside [the circus] smoking pot at intermission. Why do you need to get high? IT'S THE FUCKING CIRCUS." -TheBloggess
“Hey, is this the government? I, uh, I think your forest is on fire.” -The Comics Curmudgeon calling in to report a forest fire
"Oh, Japanese! Taking pictures? Tourist!" -Melissa
"Please go away. You're evil." -Jonesy from 6teen
"One did not have to outwit a potato." -Tom Dillehay
"But who can decide what they dream? And dream I do." -Evanescence
"You saw me mourning my love for you, and touched my hand. I knew you loved me then." -Evanescence
Guy at Spring Break: "Show us your boobs!"
Marge: "Not now!"
"Of course I have! You ever tried going mad without power? It's boring, nobody listens to you." -The Simpsons Movie
"If you watch Jaws backwards it is just a movie about a shark that throws people up until they have to open a beach."
"Stop making out with him, he has gingivitis!... He has stinky ball syndrome!" -What some guy just yelled out at the party at the frat house behind my apartment
"Morgan? Morgan, don't pee over there!" "There's chunks in the bathroom! I'm not peeing in there!" *pointless yelling ensues* -also from said frat party, and yes, this "Morgan" is a girl
"What's that? Not me, fuck that, I'm a cat." -George Carlin
"Fuckin' meow!" -George Carlin
"If you rip open your LPU 4.0 CD case, right behind the plastic cd holder, between the two pieces of paper there is a cd with every LP demo on it, go check it out!" -Stllmn8j
"All that is required for neutral to triumph is for good and evil people to do nothing." -Oglaf
"Do this as if your life depended on it. But don't die." -Kekkaishi
"Earth! Wind! Water! Fire!....Heart? Together we form the great and all knowing Captain Pla..... OH GOD BP OILSPILL! AIEEEE" *Captain Planet Dies* -Ryan Wile
"You're rather peppy. You always struck me as someone who hated mornings." -Dake
"Oh I think they should go fuck themselves. But I found the coffee! :D " -Tommy (from Paradox)
M: …Or maybe it’s a sci-fi love story. Or maybe it’s a fantasy novel about two lonely aliens from Uranus (heh) who find that the only way to stop an evil superpower from destroying the universe is to create the first vuvuzela-powered lazer beam. I think these are all equally plausible conclusions. Actually, mine are more plausible.
"Hey, you guys remember last night when we were drunk? I miss that." -From Pictures of You
"Pie fixes everything" -Texan Cafe
"I'm halfway convinced you'd think Stairway to Heaven would be a better song if it had Mike Shinoda rapping on it." -Astat
“Bring violence back to cartoons. Or I’ll shoot a smurf.” -Micheal Fry
"...-whoa. I think... I have to pee. I can't tell." -a very drunk Benji, from Pointless
"When life gives you skittles, throw them in people's faces and scream,
'TASTE THE FRICKIN' RAINBOW!'" -origin unknown
"Brakes… My brakes work… But I guess ditches and mailboxes and that one kid's lemonade stand work too…" -Craig in a South Park fanfic by HeartbeatStatic
"'I'd totally go hetero for her.' Ah, nothing better than a fag saying he wants to screw Lady Gaga." -this is like, a quote w/in a quote w/in a quote. The quote includes a quote of a piece of dialog from a story. I don't know how to quote this. I think I'm missing some quote marks. Anyway, dialog from Isn't Normal by Puzzlie's Imajinacion, response by paperplatephace
"True men don't have nightmares, they have nightSTALLIONS." -KaeHobz (true origin unknown)
"I love to watch the insanity of an un-moderated chat of 150 LPU members spazzing." -Mike Shinoda
"This song is for the guy who keeps yelling from the balcony, and it's called 'We Hate You, Please Die.'" -Hickum's profile pic (true origin unknown)
"DICKS. You're a bag of DICKS." -AV of Ludo
"I'm a loose bolt of a complete machine. What a match, I am half doomed and you're semi-sweet." -Fall Out Boy
"Who the hell pays a hooker with a personal check?! That's like... that's like paying a hooker with a personal check!" -Jeff Ross at the Roast of David Hasselhoff
"He stayed awake through the whole course, only daring to daydream of his future career of some super important astronomer, which involves him saving the world from a giant meteor to a sweet soundtrack by Linkin Park. Old Linkin Park, not new Hinderbutt Linkin Park." -Houseflies by Damn Expensive Eggs
"NOOOO. NEVER. I WOULD NEVER SKIP BAND PRACTICE. THAT'S LIKE. THE WORST SIN. THE WORST. I'LL GO KILL MYSELF IF I DO THAT. BUT THEN I'D COME BACK TO LIFE TO GO TO PRACTICE THE NEXT DAY BECAUSE THERE CAN'T BE A HOLE IN THE DRILL." -PaperPlatePhace
"Don't knock on death's door, ring the doorbell and run! He hates that!" -origin unknown
"Oily marks appear on walls, where pleasure moments hung before." -Imogen Heap
"It must be hard to be Catholic and gay."
"It's easier than being a Jehovah's Witness and a vampire." -Calamities of Nature
"Besides, have you ever seen his eyes? They're fucking huge, and like, all trusting and shit, like with a look that says 'I'm-innocent-and-this-gun-is-totally-not-for-shooting-you-in-the-balls-but-drop-your-pants-anyway.'" -Craig in From the Diary of by The Truth's Lie
"Where's the bathroom door?" -What Happens In Vegas
Max: Sir, are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Chief: I don't know. Are you thinking, "Holy shit, holy shit, a swordfish just almost went through my head"? If so, then yes.
"A day without a laugh is a wasted day." - Charles Chaplin
"Alright, you guys, if you know the words to this shit... fuck it, even if you learned 'em just now, we wanna hear you sing it! I don't give a shit if you have to sing it German!" -Mike Shinoda, Wish cover
"WELCOME TO THE Thunderdome, Bitch! (Glitch CAPS and All)" -fake LP album title, cannot for the life of me find where this was posted originally or recall who came up with it, but I was there when it happened and it was awesome
"Bitch betta have my merchant copy." -SNL, pimp on prostitutes taking credit cards
"Yes, I know what you are sayin', you don't hafta keep askin'." -Butters
"If you need a glass of water, you'd better pour it yourself, cuz I don't think Mother Nature's gonna be helping you out anytime soon." -Radio DJ (in Texas)
"You've decided to pull one last big job and then retire, although it is unclear exactly how this will work for a trombone instructor." -The Onion Horoscope for Sagittarius
"How very penetrating of you." -some lady to Poirot, in Poirot
"I put my phone in 'airplane mode' and threw it up into the air. It just fell and now my screen is cracked. Worst. Transformer. Ever." -UnicornSyrup
"Yo momma so fat her patronus is a cake" -R_Silent (Hogwarts SNAPS)
"IT'S THE PERFECT PLAN!!!!!! *Author's Note: This is a horrible plan." -Love Deaf
They're looking for a hostel, "Something that looks like a hotel, but shittier..." "Is that what the 's' is for?" -Danny Phantom SuperS, by Chouhatsu-Itsudatsu
"Pair up in groups of three, and line up in a circle." -Bill Peterson, 1973 Head Coach, Houston Oilers
Chou: "I get fifty percent of this."
Fuyuka: "You get squat and I don't have to punch you in the face."
Chou: "Fair enough."
-Kazanato Funeral Planning Service
Chou: "You should come, too. I mean, your mother - and probably your siblings - are going anyway, so what's another person for us to barricade?"
Fuyuka: "Oh yeah! Think of the impending riot and elite faux pas. It'll be fun!"
-Kazanato Funeral Planning Service
"I always thought a sparrow was an extra arrow..." -my dad
"Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? A: Yes. Q: And what were you doing at that time?" -court humor, shared by MuffinBurgler (Shea)
My boss, on letting me leave early:
Robin: Yeah, why not? It's nice out, go lay outside and get a tan.
Alejandro: Can I go get a tan?
Robin: No, you have to stay here and stay white.
"It's sad how Wile E. Coyote is remembered for his violence, and not for his brilliantly realistic paintings of tunnels." -rolldiggity
"The moon's been gettin' up later and later, and losing a lot of weight these days. I'm worried about him." -dad
"Don't worry, it's just a phase." -me
"Mike didn't even come across as tentative about it, he was straight up 'It's fucking simple, bitch. We droppin' tour dates on the domain right now and that motherfuckin' new album, I shit you not, will fuck you in the face mid-2012'." -Joe on LPA paraphrasing Mike
"Those against gay marriage: in 20 yrs you'll be the villains in an Oscar-nominated movie about the gay rights struggle. Just an FYI." -Devin Faraci (May 2012)
"There is no one in the world, not even someone who has never left the brightest desert heat, who does not recognize the sound of cracking ice as danger." -Gibson Twist
"All I heard was my friend say 'I swear it'll be funny' and then we were in jail." -origin unknown, shared by Jchawes
"the first time i heard this i was really disappointed, it sounded like complete crap, then i realized that my headphones werent plugged in all the way, now this sounds amazing, and i'm marking june 26th on my calendar." -Phoenix's favorite review of BURN IT DOWN
"Dear anybody who doesn't like our new single, are you sure your headphones are plugged in?" Mike's response
"There are naive questions, tedious questions, ill-phrased questions, questions put after inadequate self-criticism. But every question is a cry to understand the world. There is no such thing as a dumb question." -Carl Sagan
"Hey, if they're gonna monologue in front of an enemy, it's their own fault." -Ichigo in The World in Black and White by Kyrial Halcoryn
"What's it like, I wondered, to watch the shit hit the fan knowing you have an umbrella?" -Harry in Sectumsem by aBoyWillDo
"I don't care how nerdy your pretenses are, this is a date." -Ginny in Wafting Noises by Desa Gibbons
"I have a very vivid memory of you getting your ass kicked as a teenager."
"I have a vivid memory of you puking up slugs." -Ron/Draco in Can't Help Falling In Love by B-Rated