& I get lost in the nothingness inside of me.

I've been in this state of Depersonalization for over 6 months now & I don't think I'm going to snap out of it anytime soon. I have learned to live with it..even though I wish I could "see" everything completely clear again. I wish I could completely feel alive & real again. I wish I could feel my emotions completely again.

It's almost a disability for me. It makes me anxious to drive, get a job, & go to school. & I've tried explaining it to everyone, but they're all like it's no big deal, just ignore it.

Um yeah okay, I'll just ignore the fact that life feels like a dream, that I'm completely disconnected with my surroundings & others, & that my memory is shit now.

Oh yeah, real easy to ignore.

Sometimes, I feel like I'm going mad. I'm not hallucinating or anything (thank god), but sometimes I feel completely insane. Like, when I'm just sitting in my room, I can "see" everything around me, but it all looks so weird & 2-D.
I really needed to vent, it's been getting really bad lately :[

Don't wanna be a downer :/
But is there anyone who knows what I'm going through? I know Chester went/is going through it.

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Comment by Michelle Claire Williams on October 1, 2010 at 2:25pm
Hi Applebee,

Just a quick message to say I that I too am going through dp/dr though I am only just starting my journey.

It is a living hell and I am trying something new everyday to get over it.

I am determined that I will not let it take over my life! We can get through this,

If you want to talk, drop me a message and I hope we can talk and help each other :)


Shelle xxx
Comment by 冯佳昕 Feng Jia Xin on July 29, 2010 at 4:36pm
Hi~~why so lost? little dear?


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