Selena: Todd!
Todd: Wha~ oh, come on! I forgot!
Selena: ARRGH! -attacks-

How am I supposed to remember? I have a very hectic schedule, guys. I have to kick the virtual butts of people around the world with explosives and such. I've been losing nonstop to my buddy in Texas, and he sent me an actual (snail-mail) letter describing all the times he beat me. I can't take that. I have to win. It's in my blood. It's a right of passage for all men. It's a-
Selena: Men? Dude, earthworms are more manly than you are.
Oh that was a cheap shot.
Selena: Yup. Earthworms have, like, double genders or something. I don't know.
Well, male seahorses give birth.
Selena: Tasmanian devils can give birth to thirty babies, but only four survive, she she's got to eat twenty-six of them.
I.... don't know how to respond to that.
What am I supposed to be writing about again?
Oh yeah, your hatred of soy milk.
Selena: -shudders-
So her first experience with soy milk went like this:
Okay maybe she didn't die, but it was horrible.
Selena: It scarred me for life. I can't even look at tofu without gagging.
And then we found out that soy milk is an important ingerdiant in being vegan.
Selena: Did you just put down "ingerdiant"?
Oops. Let's not correct that.
So anyway, soy milk is milk that isn't from cows or goats or llamas or gerbils, so it's legal for the Pledge.
Selena: Actually I discovered soy beans have faces, so, I can't consume them. It's actually illegal in the vegan universe. Darn. Oh, well.
They don't have faces, dirty little liar. Now drink up!
Selena: Omigawd, Todd, what the chizz? Ach, get that out of my face!
No actually this is almond milk.
Mmm. Almond milk. So delicious and almondy.
Selena: You're a liar. You're totally trying to trick me.
Mmmmmmaybe. Yum, it's so almondy.
See, guys, whereas soy milk makes Selena gag, almond milk is possibly the, umm, the-
Selena: The most delicious substance to ever be consumed. And anyone who think all milk tastes the same does not have as experienced a palette as I.
Um, that's how you spell palette, right?
Well, I have to go force-feed this soy I mean "almond" flavored milk to Selena. So I guess that is goodbye for now.
Selena: Ew, no, you pulled that glass out of nowhere! Who knows where it's been?

Views: 6

Tags: 30-Day, Peta, Pledge, Vegan


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