Verse 1 (New Version)

I don't know how i take myself into shit like this
i hurt myself an again i fall into the f. abyss
in the moment i open my heart, somebody takes a knife
just to destroy the little hope that keeps my alive
i keep duck an runnin away from the strife

i keep my head low hidn my feelings in darkness
right now i teared out my heart i'm feelin heartless
from sadness into madness then back to sadness
slowly i'm gettin paranoid
theres no way no solution for this to avoid
just wished my mind my thoughts they were destroyed
i need some time some rest to forget
thinki bout futre thinkin bout the f. past

Refrain
my soul is crying of this fukin pain
i wanna get out this acidic rain
evry drop hurts more an more
its so friggn hard to ignore

Verse 2
again i tried to get my self back fightin
was fed up with crying an denying
i had to accept the shit that happned to me
in the hope to get relief i had to let it free
The anger with i was fed All this shit made me sad
sad is not enough to say it darkned every day
lay down into my bed I don't wanna look ahead
fearin to wake up damn make it stop
(from sadness into madness then back to sadness)
It's forcin me to open up my eyes
i dun wanna hear the why
i dun wanna see my lies....


Refrain 2x
my soul is crying of this fukin pain
i wanna get out this acidic rain
evry drop hurts more an more
its so friggn hard to ignore
its so friggn hard to ignore

Something:
3x
evry drop hurts more an more

my soul was crying of this fukin pain
evry drop hurted down the bone

Bridge:
yea i got forced to see my own lies
yea i had to stop the disguise
i had to stop the disguise

Outro:
can u see right now my view totally split
can u see this shit i take another critical hit
everybody who thinks i got another bill to pay
come on ppl i stay here an i take it it's ur day
i hate it but i payed it the prize to socialize
an i was a part of this system lost my wisdom
but i'm out if it, i'm out if it
fuck you all fuck that shit!.....
________________________________
I don't know Old Version:

I don't know how i take myself into shit like this
i hurt myself an again i fall into the f. abyss
//nobdoy knows what i sacrfised......//
in the moment i open my heart, somebody takes a knife
just to destroy the little hope that keeps my alive
i keep duck an runnin away from the strife
//why.... nobody knows....not even me.//
i keep my head low hidn my feelings in darkness
right now i teared out my heart i'm feelin heartless
from sadness into madness then back to sadness
slowly but constantly i'm gettin paranoid
theres no way no solution for this to avoid
my thoughts i just wish they were destroyed
i need some time some rest to forget
thinki bout futre thinkin bout the f. past

Refrain:

my soul is crying of this fukin pain
i wanna get out this acidic rain
evry drop hurts more an more
its so damn hard to ignore

Part 2:

again tried to get my self back fightin an i thought
i should let it out, hopin to get to the end of this road
i took this boat to sail myself far away on the ocean
the time stopped a second like a year in slow motion
// Nobody knows.....what i saw so clear //
it was too much i was out of touch while i tried
i felt that what i've hidden an i couldn't let it be
in the hope to get relief i had to let it free
//Nobody knows....what a lonely soul shows//
can u see right now my view totally split
can u see this shit i take another critical hit
everybody who thinks i got another bill to pay
come on ppl i stay here an i take it it's ur day
i hate it but i payed it the prize to socialize
an i was a part of this system lost my wisdom
but i'm out if it fuck you all fuck that shit!.....

Refrain again:

my soul is crying of this fukin pain
i wanna get out this acidic rain
evry drop hurts more an more
its so damn hard to ignore

read an comment it


© Shikim/todraw
__________________________________________
"Artificially"

Artificially i try, keeping me up
//behind a fasade\\
just to dont get dropped....
that work for some day
but hurt myself that way

just multiple the pain....

to get it on display
i take the pencil
draw a picture
and hope i ll get it awayy....
and can let it be the past
can have some piece some rest


heyy... heyyy.....
i think u never will understand
heyyy!!!!!! heyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!
i think u never will get it
u just think its shit
i should quit with
drawnin like that shit

but

drawnin keeps my soul breathin
yea...

an i got a conflict in me
evry day
just cause of youu, you dont see
you just think u've got talk to me
an say i can talk about free
last time i did
an got in a rid
an u thought
i ve got to go the way
you say
to follow ur instruction
like a robot construction

-i am not just ur construction
i am not ur puppet
-which u can chose between the function
if i follow i'm goin get dropped

i dont wanna be a part of this system
ive got enough wisdom
to know
this system... only a show

ohhohohhh.....

the best friend i had
in times like that was the hope
but it turned from green to red
and i lost this last rope
u let me walk through the hell
my soul was cryin out loud:
on the point where my will fell
"i only want to get out!"


wasn't it enough loud?!

wasn't it.....

man i was so far to quit....


artificially i tried....

artificially i tried....

and i hide....

in the end i hide.....
myself from the fight
_______________________________________________

"Love is gone"

Part 1

i've got to say thx alot for the last shot
that was the last thing i needed
and again the devil nearly got feeded
feeded with a new darkned soul
i know i know for u it wont play a role
for me that was just the final goal
yea u reached it
i know u dont give a sh..i.>it
should i quit?

but....

Refrain:

you ve already forgot me
i am not blind i see
its just like cold steel knifes are piercing
through my heart an i am still feeling.....
sadly i am feeling....
an thats killing....
thats killing.....
killing me....

Part 2

i am just listening to the sound
my heart now, just a big wound
i know i should be able to get arround
with feelings like that
but i cant thats just sad
evrything just twisting through my head
over and over again
of course i know
thats all in vain

soo....


i take the evry day rain
within the pain
to put out
this flame that burned
for you now i turned
an i learned
how to get arround
maybe now i can solve this wound

Refrain:

you ve already forgot me
i am not blind i see
its just like cold steel knifes are piercing
through my heart an i am still feeling.....
sadly i am feeling....
an thats killing....
thats killing.....
killing me....

Part 3

new day

i am sitting here nobdys arround
-i am alone
so i try to cord up my wound
-emotions gone
feeling flows
::i dont want to feel
but
::the ice cold steel
nothing glows
::in my heart....

now....


Outro

i realised that i was the one who shots
with bullets of pain
in my thoughts
i realised an i wont do it again i wont cause
i just hurted myself
an thats in vain
_______________________________________________

"Colours goes gray......"
(On this one i'm still workin on, i'm sry for the chaos ^^)

It's just the colours i give away
seems like i'm gonna end up in gray
i mean the colours to color my mask
to color the faked happyness
i am just livin cause i wanna know
the end of live, was it all a show
am i gonna end up in flame !?
am i gonna take all the blame
livin in an invisible cage
rasing, rasing the fuckin rage
falli into the dark halls
caged in my brain evry fuckin day the same
an knowing next mornin all starts again
wake up an feel this taste of numbness
an fearing the upcoming stress
again im feelin bad cause of
things happened in my past
sme ppl say past is past...
an why i still feel this in my chest
i don wanna get up i need some more rest...
u don't believe sometimes a day like a minute
an u realize our time on earth isn't infinite
then ifeel like drownin an sinkin
in the dark theres no light blinkin
just drownin an sinkin, yea sinkin
in my own fucking dark thoughts
ican't be silent can't shout can't cry
i just sit an watch how life goes by
goes by to be fucked up i wan't to drop......
if theres somethin who/which can make it stop
then pls do it i can't stand this, this shit
an again i'm caught up in ur fuckin deceit
i'm gonna pull the trigger it's too late
but i can't the command doesn't reach the hand
keep fallin deeper in depressions Land

Copyright by todraw/Shikim Beluli

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Comment by black side on March 1, 2010 at 3:53am
Andrea she is really like ur poem u have a fans startting from now xD
she is kind.. Take care
Comment by black side on February 28, 2010 at 8:02am
I can't stop my mind from reading that sweet poems over and over again
u r so romantic and senstive and kindness person I hope ur life be good as you ..xD
I still in home going to party after 15 mins.. xD
Take care shikim and talking later... ;D

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