I understand how scissors can beat paper, and I get how a rock can beat scissors, but there's no fucking way paper can beat rock! Is paper supposed to magically wrap around rock and leave it immobile? Why the hell can't paper do this to scissors? in fact, Screw scissors! why cant paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anyone!A rock would tear that shit up in 2 seconds.
When I play rock paper scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face (: